When I was 15 I never knew what a break up feels like.I thought gifting cards from Hallmark,staying up late to talk on the phone about homework and what happened in school,and occasional holding hands was more than enough to express your love for someone.You could also gift expensive chocolates if it was on sale because a student is always low on budget.
Love was gifting …Love was innocent and love was a lot of love
At 21,after going through a terrible breakup and a lot of drama,after having trust issues,after promising to NEVER believe in men again love popped up out of nowhere in a Facebook friend request…I accepted it…because at this point of my life I had started accepting things without changing it…reality need not be altered anymore…adult enough to face whatever happens….
Love walked in …in such a way that I would never imagine in my entire time of existence …it walked in slowly…in a train station with an extra jacket and a bottle of frizzy water because he knew I drank water like a fish…..love meant listening to what he had to say…it meant understanding his point of view and being okay with his past.Love meant telling him all the stories I had lived through…and also a three minute french kiss under the moon light.
Love meant trusting him with everything I was,knowing that he was worth all the pain…it meant watching him sleep like a baby and giving him all the warmth I could.It meant not complaining while sitting on a dusty train floor because I was with him.It meant being okay with the fact that he did not notice men staring at me because he was busy on the phone…Love meant a walk in the park with chocolate and mango ice cream…love was someone who always lend me his jacket and did not know what to do when I started crying…love was the surprised look when he found out I could cook so damn well..love wanted a strong dark coffee first thing in the morning and needed reminders to drink water..he also was not good with managing his shoes and knowing where to put his socks..love was lazy to cook for himself but made farmer’s breakfast omelet for me to impress me…love bought me a swarovski locket because he thought I liked it…love was meaningful…nights were meaningful and so were days…
Love sucked at time management because he was not used to giving someone time…love was still trying his best to cover the gaps that distance and time had created between us…and sometimes when he felt right..he would call me love too…he would laugh at me complaining because he thought it was funny when I was angry…love was fabulous in black…love was a song that needed to be shared via gmail because that would make him cooler even if he was an engineer..love was the BIGGEST exception in my life…with dirty toes because he was lazy to shower below his stomach….
Love was everything…that needed to be returned because things that are yours are never returned…they are kept until you want to replace it…Love meant everything for me…but I did not mean anything for love
So love returned me..without a second glance because things that are borrowed need to be returned…always
(unless you are an asshole)
Love is gifting…gifting things that can’t be returned