DAY 18 (21 LETTERS TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN 21-18)

TO : The one that loved me the most, was the first greeting when I was home,accepted me no matter who and what I am,and always listened.

 

Hi

I am sorry I was not there when you took your last breath,you must have looked for me..like you always do..you must have tried to stay a little longer hoping that I would come back but I was not aware of what you were going through,

I am sorry for being so lost in my own world,sometimes I forget about those who care for me and love me unconditionally when I am lost.

You always saved me from myself,listened to me when there was no one else .

Your big warm,non-judgemental eyes  answered all the questions  I was asking without words.You have taught me a lot of things

Minnie,thankyou for saving my pre-teenage and being my savior in my teenage.

After Mickey died I promised myself I would never love another dog again,I would never let anyone steal his place in my heart,that he would always be the best gift ever and that he would never die.

But that afternoon after school when my mother announced she had a surprise for me and I saw you,this little fur ball almost as big as a guinea pig who fit in my palm perfectly,I thought I could make a bit of adjustment.

You were just an exception since the moment I lay my eyes on you.

You taught me the biggest lessons of life,the lessons no one else could teach me,you taught me to accept love,and that when you fill the empty spaces that is left behind because of someone’s absence with love you do not replace the one who gave you the love but you just fill in the vacancy that was left behind.

People who are left behind need to live too and it is not wrong,that is not being weak. In a way it is being strong and making your heart bigger for more people to fit in.

You tiny little furball taught me to be strong.

Those teenage years when I was against the world and no-one made sense I would say all the things I want to change about the world and you would listen as if you understood,I would sneak you in to the roof and make you watch the stars,and you would not complain,you would just accompany me while I was dreaming,those days when noone was home and I pretended to be Aishwarya Rai and dance around,you were my only audience (thankyou for not complaining ),you would listen to me sing songs in my crappy voice,I did not care if anyone called or not since you were already my companion.

My parents were so mad at me for spoiling you,for giving you food that was on my plate ,that was not right they said..but you are my friend so yeah it is okay.

You were ”chucchi” to everyone else but me,you were so dramatic #mygosh I never knew any dog would do all the things that you did.

But you were not just any other dog ,you were MINIE,my best freind Rachu was jealous because of how much I loved you and could not get enough of you.

No matter how my day was,I would come home and I would have a wide smile on my face  because of you,

You would greet me as if I achieved something,as if I did something great in the day,as if you were waiting all day long just for me.I would never get over how GUTSY you suddenly became when there were bigger dogs around as if you were trying to say that with me by your side you would always be okay 🙂

Thankyou for being my friend,we connected in so many levels without words,without the fear and rules of religion.

You never asked me where I came from,what I did,you never worried about the things I worried about and yet you understood,you accepted.

When I came to Bangkok,I had to leave you behind,and you were heart-broken that I had to leave.

I am sorry I had to leave you behind but oh the first welcome you gave me was the best ever,it made me feel so missed,so much love,like I was needed for you..

Thank-you no-one has done that to me before..just accepted me regardless of the things I said,regardless of the fact that I left them behind,regardless that the most I could bring for them when I was home was myself.

I know you won’t be there to welcome me home anymore,but I know what heartwarming welcomes are because of you .Thank-you.

I will miss the times you were so fascinated to hear my voice on skype and ran around to figure out where it was coming from,I will miss laughing at you.I will miss talking to you at nights that were just too long,I will miss making you my audience,I will miss experimenting with you,I will miss combing your cotton soft hair,I will miss your licks and kisses,I will miss sleeping next to you during thunderstorms,I will miss giving showers to you and waiting in the sun till you got sun-dried.

I do not know who will stay up with me to fight my nightmares anymore,I do not know who will be my buddy to steal food from the fridge at night,I do not know who I will share the cookies I stole with anymore but I know no-one can take your place.

You will be the only one Minie,Rae’s little piece of happiness.I will miss you so so sooo much.

Minie,you are the world’s best dog,you never bit anyone and yet everyone was scared of you (regardless of how tiny you were).You were such a clever little Pomeranian who did not give an ef about anything and slept till late.

I will miss your smile (the one you gave me after your treat).

I will miss you so much,I wonder who will stay up till late for me when I am home.

I will miss you barking loudly at people who were mean to me,I will miss you not letting anyone else touch the T.V remote (except for me),I will miss watching you nap while I folded the laundry on weekends,I will miss sneaking you into the kitchen when I cook so that I am not alone,I will miss making the special ‘minie ko bhat” for you.

I am never going to forget how you helped me keep my ideas ,I will never forget how you never judged me for my dreams…even humans can’t do that but you did 🙂

I love you

I love you so so so much

I will miss hugging you

I will miss carrying you in my arms and strolling in the garden to calm down.

I will miss fighting with people who said you were too pampered.

I will miss you so much minie

Please do not forget me

I refuse to let death come between us

Like Mickey you shall live in my heart

forever and always

 

 

Tukku

(p.s- since I did not see you die you are not dead for me,you will always be the fluffy furball spreading happiness in my home ,You will always be my peice of flawless white soft snow that spread all the energy I needed in my life)

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Ekta says:

    I feel ur pain. I will not and cannot say that o understand your pain because I truly dont but I understand it. And through this letter I understand it more clearer. Unfortunate events like these cant be stopped I wish it could be there would be many things I would change with that power but hey I know thats only a dream. Just know that love all u can and share all u can with the ones in ur life. We, all ur friends, are here to support u

    1. Thanks bhai it means a lot
      Hugs
      Soul warming hugs
      Muahs

  2. Ekta says:

    I wont say I know how it feels cuz I dont but I understand it *

  3. asim says:

    you are so good in expressing emotions through words, you make the reader relive those moments through your wonderful writing, so simple yet so beautiful 🙂 this letter made me cry . and this letter marks the rebirth of Minie, she is awesome:) She will be there for ever now, just because you portrayed her through your writing .:)

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